Thursday, July 14, 2011
You are MLB commissioner, would you let this gorilla play?
Genetic engineers at Johns Hopkins University have developed a so-called “super gorilla.” Though the animal cannot speak, it has a sign language lexicon of over twelve thousand words, and an IQ of almost 85, and – most notably – a vague sense of self-awareness. Oddly, the creature (who weighs seven hundred pounds) becomes fascinated by baseball. The gorilla aspires to play the game at its highest level and quickly develops the rudimentary skills of a 1st baseman. ESPN analyst John Kruk speculates that this gorilla would be “borderline unpitchable” and would likely average six homers a game (although Jackson concedes the beast might be susceptible to curveballs and knuckleballs). Meanwhile, the gorilla has made is clear he would never intentionally injure any opponent.
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