Wednesday, July 20, 2011

You are NBA commissioner, would you let this gorilla play?

Genetic engineers at Johns Hopkins University have developed a so-called “super gorilla.” Though the animal cannot speak, it has a sign language lexicon of over twelve thousand words, and an IQ of almost 85, and – most notably – a vague sense of self-awareness. Oddly, the creature (who weighs seven hundred pounds) becomes fascinated by basketball. The gorilla aspires to play the game at its highest level and quickly develops the rudimentary skills of a power forward. ESPN analyst Mark Jackson speculates that this gorilla would be “borderline unguardable” and would likely average six blocks a game (although Jackson concedes the beast might be susceptible to pick and rollls and misdirections). Meanwhile, the gorilla has made is clear he would never intentionally injure any opponent.

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